Some 600 years ago Before Christ, Lao Tzu was doing a lot of thinking on our behalf. I admire a person who can succulently present small words into life’s biggest challenges, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” Each day, week, year, or any of the number of life’s change of events begins a new journey. Isn’t this wonderful? At any time, we can begin again in our journey of a thousand miles.

When my first child came along, for a tiny moment in time, lasting about a year, I figured I would have to put gardening on a back burner. At the time of her arrival in 1996, we lived in a 1905 cottage in Oakwood, in one of the Raleigh’s historic districts. This is a home my husband and I renovated on weekends. During the week, we lead life in the fast lane, each working exciting careers, but on the weekends, we worked at a comfortable pace renovating our home, one room at a time.    It was the perfect home for the two of us and we figured when the children came along, we would find a bigger place to live.

The garden was renovated along with the house itself.  When I think of home, whether mine or yours, I naturally think of the garden gracing the grounds as much as the place where you tuck in your loved ones in at night.   Rarely can separate the two. I loved that garden; no doubt she was my surrogate child.

As timing would have it, Hurricane Fran arrived a month before the arrival of our first child. Fran was nature’s way of telling me to slow down. At the time, I wasn’t sure of her reasons, and clearly a hurricane didn’t hit Raleigh just to send me a message, but I took Fran as a first step of what would become a thousand miles.

Before Fran, my little garden in Oakwood was in full shade; after Fran, she was in full sun. I looked into the future, one month down the road, and decided to let the garden be. I have a child coming and with that child, we will need to soon move. This was a defining moment. I spent that first year looking for our next home, with my little Bud in tow.

On Bud’s one year birthday, we closed on a 25 year-old home in Raleigh. I can vividly remember looking at the new garden before me realizing, ironically, this was also transformed by Fran from full shade to full sun. It was obvious, too, the previous owners did nothing with their garden as they planned the next journey in their lives. When I looked out at what was to be my garden, I realized for the first time, this was no longer my space, but rather a place where my kids would run and play. This would be the place my kids will share stories to their kids about how they played in the garden. My kids would need a place to explore, to kick a ball, and to chase fireflies, and not having me fretting over my beds and borders.

It was then I decided that if ever there was a time to build a garden, it was now. Now, when the kids could build along with me. For the next 2.5 years, Bud and I hung out in the garden together. With her running around wildly, while I wiled away the hours digging in the dirt and learning where my sun laid. Then came number two, quickly followed by number three. We were family; one who planned to spend hours everyday in the garden. And of course, for us, a garden is really just a metaphor for enjoying the out of doors and all it has to offer. Today, 14 years later, my kids know where to find me on Sundays, my day in the garden. All time leading up to this day and the day itself, I know where my kids are – in the garden, running, playing, exploring and chasing fireflies.

Because time was precious and money was tight, I wanted to get the garden right the first time. During this time, I gained a lot of confidence in the garden and learned many lessons. Here are five essentials I learned early on so I could garden with confidence. Why not begin today with a new or renewed mindset:  right plant for the right place?  Understanding these five essential elements will help you garden with confidence.  

FIVE ESSENTIALS TO GARDENING WITH CONFIDENCE

Zone

There is a lot of talk about zonal denial, micro-climates, and changes in our zones due to global warming.  If you are a risk taker and know your garden well, then by all means push the limits with your gardening zone.  In my garden, Helen’s Haven, Zone 7b in Raleigh, North Carolina, I no longer take these risks.  I’m perfectly happy in the zone I own.  I know plenty of gardeners that plant zone 8 and even zone 9 plants in our zone 7b gardens and are thrilled with their success, even if it may be short lived.  I use too, but don’t anymore. I find it even risky planting plants on the zone’s edge. Ideally, I like to wrap a zone around a plant. There is no doubt, I’ve missed out on a lot of fun this way, but I don’t loose as many plants either.

Soil

We need to accept the soil we’re dealt or be prepared to amend.  I have yet to garden in perfect soil, and still, I find gardening success. I’m a heavy amend-er and believe in the power of mulch.  In our area of the Piedmont region of North Carolina, there is clay and sand. In the heart of Raleigh, where I am, it is all clay.  As you move outside of Raleigh, you’ll find sandy soil.  So when I read a plant label that recommends planting in well drained soils, I know they’re not talking to me.  But planting these plants in my garden is a risk I’m willing to take.  Why?  Because here I have some control; I can amend my soil. And I do. I have amended all my garden beds, one planting hole at a time.  Adding composted leaf mulch or other organic matter to the hole and blending it with the clay with some added insurance of a permanent clay buster such as PermaTill or Clay Busters, I can make my sticky clay soil friable.  In any garden soil type, you cannot go wrong adding more organic matter. Then top dress the garden beds with a lush, thick layer of mulch each year to moderate the soil temperature, suppress weeds, retain water and generally tiding up the garden.  By doing so, you’ll have a happy garden; happy gardens give gardener’s confidence.